Introduction

It was a long hard road to get where I am... but I’m there.

You know, I really didn't like how everybody told me I wasn't good enough for this position. They all laughed at me. "You’re not strong enough" "you're not quick enough" "you're not smart enough"... pfft.

Showed them who was wrong right?

What do I do? I keep people alive. No, I don't sit there and spam curative magic at them; I’m right there at the front of battle. My sword may not be the one that slays the beast, but I kept the beast from slaying the one that DID.

Most people think my position is unrewarding. I don't get the credit for actually slaying the beast; therefore, I’m not the hero. You know what? I don't want credit. I can't stand fame. Too much shit to worry about. People wanting your autograph. I hate that. I watch my beast-slaying friend sign em all the time. I mean, can't he just get some ink and STAMP the damn signature on there? By the time he's done signing one, there's a whole line formed.

We got shit to do people, move aside!

Also, everything you do in public while you're famous is viewed with a keen eye. You’re a role model now, and that means you're no longer human. You have to be perfect with everything. No mistakes. If you make a mistake, then you become a laughingstock.

I hate my nation. San d’Oria. I was born there, but I hold no citizenship there. The place is too uppy for me. Sometimes it's just too noisy. Other times, it's just annoying. There are rules that are just plain ridiculous. Unspoken etiquette, ways to dress, ways to speak...

We are so controlled there it's insane. And the worst thing is that the nation's leaders are completely confused. I don't like being raised by a civil war. Church vs. state constantly. There’s the "royal knights" and the "holy defenders"

Well let me tell you something... the 2 BOTH think their idea is right and any other idea is wrong. And their ideas differ.

It’s a constant stress here.

And now we gotta deal with this damn line of people wanting autographs from Mr. Beast Slayer, and my good friend, Cosmo.

Cosmo... if I had to describe how he contributes, he's the guy who gets the last word in. The one who truly gets the last laugh. He’s the dragoon. The lancer. The dragon knight... with that stupid helmet and that freakin dragon that doesn't like me. Everyone else thinks that thing is SOOO cute... but all it ever does is bite me when I go near it. Other times it growls... and other times it breathes some sort of elemental breath at me just to piss me off. And I’m just supposed to LAUGH at it like it's the CUUUUUUTEST thing it's ever done! Awww, you just gave me a pretty little bite mark... u so cute... hee hee hee... pfft. I’d like to beat it over the head with my shield and kabob it with my sword and roast it over an open flame and feed it to a goblin! That damn thing is a pain in my ass! Cosmo always tells me "oh, he's just showing you his affection..."

Allow ME to show your damn dragon MY AFFECTION! STRIKE! I love it so much, I’d kill it to protect it!

But enough about my friend and that pet of his... this is MY story.

I’m unnoticed in the crowd. I got the bad attitude, and the hardened personality. I don't put up with weakness, I don't put up with drama, and I certainly don't put up with attention.

Who am I? Well... let me start from the beginning. I wasn't always this hardened. I used to actually enjoy day to day things... the simple things. I used to fish most days... I’d even cook. Most of you may think cooking is sort of... weak. But that skill works even today. You’d be surprised what starvation can do to people, and when you got somebody like me who can make a meal out of thin air damn near, I’m the savior.

My name is Daemien.


Yes... the name given to demons. My parents either hated me, or were hippies. "Dude, the true meaning of the name Daemien means power, and strength, and ... blah blah blah” who the hell listens to that crap anyway? The kids I went to school with sure as hell didn't! "You’re a demon! You’re the unholy! You’re the curse of this school! Smite the demon! Kill him!" Needless to say, I got a beating on a regular basis. The schools here in San d’Oria are not really worried with children. They don't teach that much anyway... just how to read and write, and then it's a bunch of bull shit about their history and how great they are. The only part I like especially is how they get their asses handed to em by the other nations when they tried to take 'em over. Put your arrogance back in its place didn't it?

But mostly, what we get to see are the adventurers. Many types, many sizes, many ways of adventuring. I remember Cosmo from school always wanted to be a dragoon. I also remember Cosmo was always the one looking for me so he could get a posse of people together to kick my ass. Funny how things end up isn't it? He always saw the dragoons in their purple or green armor and their lances, always seemed to be powerful to him...

I always thought they were stupid. I mean what kind of beast killer and monster slayer dresses up in the armor a clown would wear and jumps and bounds around like a monkey? How the hell is this the vision of power? Looks more like the vision of the absurd! Jump your ass outta town morons!

What adventurer type did I like? Most of you are expecting me to say dark knight. And don't get me wrong, I saw a lot of power coming from them. Many people thought I’d be a dark knight. My name being Daemien didn't help that stereotype either. Did I want to be a dark knight? I thought I did... I did what people told me to do because I got hurt less that way. To be honest though... my heart wasn't in it. I got hit a lot. And I went down too fast. The damn weapons they forced me to use in training were WAY too heavy. Took me forever to swing em, and I’d usually miss anyway. I could do a few black magic spells, but they weren't nearly as powerful as my classmates could make them. I was weak left and right.

My instructor told me to drop out. And I didn't mind either. Training was always in Bastok. I hate Bastok. Too dull, it smells like sulfur all the time, and I get pushed around a lot more here than I did in San d’Oria by racist Hume’s and idiot Galkas who have to show how strong they are all the time.

I tried many different things... nothing really worked. I tried the way of the monk. Karate shows strength right? And I knew I was disciplined enough... and I was. My problem was again: I couldn't seem to hit my target. My instructor there told me to get glasses. I told him to get laid. Then he told me to go home, and I told him to go to hell, then he kicked my ass, and I went home.

It went like this with most jobs... thief, warrior, ninja, samurai, ...

Dragoon...

Yeah, I tried dragoon. Again I met up with Cosmo in that school. He was their best student. He laughed when he saw me walk in. "Well, you've been a job whore for quite a bit haven't you? Heheh, you won't make the cut here. I guarantee it"

Burn. "Let me explain this to you, clown: I’m trying dragoon. If I fail at it, then I fail, but at least I tried."

"Whatever... just hurry up and fail then, we don't need our time wasted with the likes of you failures."

And fail I did. He was my sparring partner. It was nostalgia for Cosmo. He hadn't given me a good beating since school. And beat me he did. But he went too far. He beat me within an inch of my life. I was healing for 4 days with mages constantly seeing to my health. Hope that makes you feel better Cosmo...

What a jackass.

After receiving healing for quite a while, I thought mage might be my calling. First, I tried what they said I should do: black mage. Fail. My spells just weren't strong enough. And I’d run out of energy too quickly.

Next? White mage! Ok... this one I ALMOST excelled in. I had an excellent healing prowess. The problem, I generated too much attention with it.

My instructor was highly impressed with my ability to protect others... until we went out for field training. That’s where my failure came about. I’d heal, heal, heal, and then the monster would kill me. You’d think this was stupidity, that it was something I could control. And I tried. But even with the slightest spell, the damn monster always came after me.

I was kicked out for not listening to my instructor... and maybe my bad language and unwillingness to conform to "white mage etiquette".

Red mage, fail. Summoner, the damn carbuncle ran away and then got killed, then the monster that killed it beat the hell outta me.

Fail.

Blue mage, fail. I didn't have the interest as to what monsters are using, so why the hell would actually using their own magic against them be useful to me?

Needless to say, I’d hit rock bottom. Everyone else from school had jobs fulfilling missions from their nations... I had crap.

On my way to check the classifieds for "failures", I bumped into a paladin. I hate paladins. Always with the shiny armor, and the bright attitudes... so dutiful and righteous. Makes me sick.

Paladin >> Oh, pardon me my good sir.
Daemien >> yeah yeah.
Paladin >> no really, I’m deeply sorry.
Daemien >> ... right. Ok, I forgive you.
Paladin >> what is your name?
Daemien >> what's it to you?
Paladin >> well, it's just that you seem to be at the bottom with no job or classification of adventurer.
Daemien >> so?
Paladin >> I see. You’re quite bitter about it. But that's ok. Come take a walk with me.
Daemien >> I’m kinda busy...
Paladin >> doing what? Pardon me for getting personal, but you have no job... as far as I can see, you CAN'T be busy
Daemien >> sigh... whatever. Let’s hurry up and get this over with.
Paladin >> now then. What classes have you tried?
Daemien >> what classes HAVEN'T I tried...
Paladin >> hmm... and yet you keep fighting on?
Daemien >> ...
Paladin >> I remember seeing you as a child... that day that 3 of those boys ganged up on you.
Daemien >> which occasion was this? It happens so often, I tend to lose track of the times...
Paladin >> Cosmo was there. They had sticks. You had a chair. You were almost able to fend them off. I think you remember this day.
Daemien >> ... come to think of it... I do. It was the only day I avoided being the one lying face down in the dirt.
Paladin >> and how did you accomplish this?
Daemien >> I beat em with a chair. So what?
Paladin >> no... That was after. But I saw you defend with that chair almost like a shield. It was perfect.
Daemien >> if you say so.
Paladin >> I’m looking at your entire personality...
Daemien >> great, thanks for making me a Petri dish.
Paladin >> you seem to keep fighting, even though most would have quit by now. You kept fighting in school, you keep fighting for a class now, and you keep fighting for a job. Do you ever give up?
Daemien >> would give up make YOU happy?
Paladin >> no no no. That's not what I mean at all. I’m telling you to look at yourself. You keep going no matter what happens to you. You’re able to take whatever hit life deals to you. You have a good defense. You can't ever take enough.
Daemien >> is that all you wanted to tell me?
Paladin >> sigh... this gift of yours to continually take damage and keep going is what I do for a living.
Daemien >> you take a beating for a living? How rewarding...
Paladin >> oh but it is. If it weren't for me, many people would be dead. I protect them.
Daemien >> and you think I’d be good at this... well, sorry. I’ve been beaten up by life; I’m not going to protect it now. Where was MY protection?
Paladin >> well, the day you're ready to let that go and show that you're better than that, that's the day you'll try out for the paladin class.
Daemien >> oh I see what this is. A recruiter for the all-mighty paladin class... well I’m not joining! "Oh, we paladins are so dutiful! We’re so honored! Look at our shiny armor, we're invincible! Aren’t we the greatest role model? Perfection! And now we'll walk around town bragging about it!"
Paladin >> HAHAHAHAHA!!! You’re hilarious. I might want to write that one down for the boys back at the barracks.
Daemien >> ... you don't know what an "insult" is do you?
Paladin >> how can I feel insulted from a classless, jobless man with bitterness at the world and no plan on rising above it?
Daemien >> ...
Paladin >> exactly. Come by. What did you say your name was again?
Daemien >> I didn't say what my name was...
Paladin >> ...?
Daemien >> sigh... Daemien is my name. The perfect name for a holy paladin.
Paladin >> best not to let what people think of you deter you from what you're good at. My name is Marcus. I hope to see you there soon.
Daemien >> yeah well... thanks for talking to me.
Marcus >> you're most welcome.
So what did I do after that whole experience? Try out for paladin. Yeah... let me put it this way, I wasn't moved by that whole thing he told me... not an inch. Or a millimeter for those of you metric freaks. It was more like I’d hit rock bottom and I was willing to do anything for money. Anything. I was teetering on the idea between trying out for another failure, or getting a cardboard box with the words "will dance for gil" written on it and sittin on the corner.

I figured I’d rather fail at paladin than fail at begging.

So, the next morning, I went to the royal castle and asked around. Who do I talk to to be a paladin? They directed me towards the chapel. Pfft. I hate that place.

I walked into the chapel, only to find everyone dead silent. Completely unresponsive of the fact that someone just walked in. I guess I should be respectful...

Daemien >> EXCUSE ME!

Fuck that shit, this is rude to not greet someone when they come in, so I can be rude about getting what I want in life.

Churchie >> can I help you?
Daemien >> yes, the royal castle knights directed me here to ask where I can go to learn the ways of a paladin.
Churchie >> figures...
Daemien >> look, I don't mean to add to the civil war here, I just want to learn how to be a paladin.
Churchie >> we would never start a war between ourselves and the royalty!
Daemien >> I don't care if the 2 of you groups started your own ORGY! Where the fuck is the guy in charge of instructing people in the ways of the paladin!?
Churchie >> *gasp*! Well, I never! How can you be so blasphemous in the house of worship?
Daemien >> will you please STAY ON TRACK AND ANSWER MY GODDAMN QUESTION?!
Churchie >> TREASON! You speak the lord's name in vain!
Daemien >> RETARD! You avoid my question yet again!
Churchie >> I cannot believe such horrid people still exist that would dare come into the chapel and speak such horrible things--
Daemien *drawing his sword* >> ok, I’m gonna count to 3. If you don't tell me where the hell that paladin trainer is, your head will be on the floor and your body on the wall... 1
Churchie >> and bringing VIOLENCE here...
Daemien >> 2! ...
Churchie >> Alright! Alright! The one you seek is Balasiel! He's in southern San d’Oria!
Daemien >> 3!
Churchie >> I told you where he is! Please don't hurt me!
Daemien >> I’m not, I just wanted to see you wet your pants!
Churchie >> wait... I remember you! You're the DEMON! DAEMIEN!
Daemien >> which is why for an asshole like you who used to join in Cosmo's daily beat-me-up, I really didn't care if you were dead or not. I guess I see in the end you aren't so strong after all.
Churchie >> GUARDS! TAKE HIM AWAY!
Daemien >> I’m leaving, I’m leaving... jeez.
Churchie >> oh no. You are going to jail!
Daemien >> ... FUCK!
You know, those guards aren't very nice. They have big clubs. Beat the hell out of me. Threw me, yes, THREW me into a cell. Grabbed me by both arms and threw me as hard as they could into the cell. My limp body actually bounced off the back wall. Damn pricks!

After a couple days, I was brought out of the cell and into court. Oh boy wasn't that fun. I’m a bum with no job or class... and I threatened to kill a "man of the church"... but they added my bad language and using the lord's name in vain crap to make my punishment worse. You see, the jury was of my peers. The same peers that laughed at me. Punishment was terrible.

Let’s see... there was the prison time... that was kinda long. 2 months... then the fines. Right, try to get money from a broke man. Nice one. Basically, I wasn't free to talk to whoever this "Balasiel" character was.


Or so I thought. One day, I got fed up with all the bull shit I was put in charge of cleaning. No really, I was cleaning bull shit. The job was bull shit. It made me turn into bull shit in the eyes of many.

I put my shovel down, and walked into south San d’Oria. I didn't care if I got caught.

I looked and looked and looked. I asked around, only to get weird gazes from some, and bull shit directions from others.

This is bull shit.

Alright. Fine. I looked him up in the directory, but he didn't have a home. I thought all was lost. That is until I saw Marcus.

Daemien >> Marcus!
Marcus >> ...
Daemien >> I need your help!
Marcus >> I fear I’m not allowed to help you... it would disgrace the paladin name...
Daemien >> WHAT?!
Marcus >> I’m sorry
Daemien >> oh come on! Where’s that motivational speaker I spoke to a while back?! Listen to me... paladin is the only class I haven't tried. I’m trying to obtain instruction on it, but I don't know where this "Balasiel" person is who instructs it.
Marcus >> I doubt he'd talk to you...
Daemien >> I don't care! I’m gonna try it anyway! Listen, it's either paladin, or it's begging. I gotta try...
Marcus >> you're a criminal...
Daemien >> what?
Marcus >> you were arrested, jailed, and now you serve your life punishment...
Daemien >> you believe everything they tell you?! That whole damn trial was rigged first of all. Every kid I knew from class was the jury, and the church wasn't friendly to me at all. I tried to be nice, but...
Marcus >> you were angry and impatient. You chose to attack, and then tried to bully one of the attendants. Do you think those are qualities Balasiel looks for? People like that he tries to keep OUT of the paladin ranks...
Daemien >> ...
Marcus >> I’m sorry, I cannot help you...
Daemien >> grr!!! Listen to me!
Marcus >> you see? Anger... bitterness... it's not helping you...
Daemien >> I... I...
Marcus >> anger does not show strength. Ever. Impatience does not show strength.
Daemien >> you're right...
Guard >> hey! Convict! Back to your duties!
Daemien >> sigh... I guess... I have no choice. For once... I have to give in.
Guard >> move it swine!
I let my head hang low. I was truly done. What else was there? What did I gain for putting forth the effort of trying harder?

Everyone had turned on me. Nobody would listen. I was lost. And now, I was a criminal. Nobody spoke for me. Nobody wanted to see me succeed. What was the point of fighting back... it was time to take my place as an utter failure...


That night I had a dream... a dream about trying again. But there were these words that spoke in my head... "Best not to let what people think of you deter you from what you're good at"

Where was that guy now? Suddenly it's 'I don't have what it takes' bull shit...

I started to fall. I fell, and watched everything happen again. All the torture and ridicule, the sacrifices I had made...

Normally, you'd feel sad about this thing... but I was intrigued. I looked at this person... myself... as if it were someone else. It was like watching a specimen in a science lab. I was just amazed... all this stuff happening to him. From such an early age. Losing his parents... enduring attacks from kids... the constant failure at being anything... and yet he keeps getting up every day to try again. When’s it going to be enough? And then I saw him... giving up. Turning in. Throwing in the towel. Lying down, waiting to die.

What gives?! Who the hell is that?! This isn't that strong person I’d seen in all the other visions! And for once, I realized my strength. I realized why I was better than what I had been portrayed. Other people seemed too simple to me... I was so much better.

I awoke anew. I grabbed the bull shit shovel and broke it in half. Fuck that damn job. I don't care if I get in trouble for it. I’m not letting them break me, and I’m not letting Marcus break me either.

I showed up where I saw Marcus yesterday. He was still there... it looked almost like he was standing watch...

Daemien >> Hail Adventurer! How doth the morning sun greet thee?
Marcus >> um... what?
Daemien >> ok, enough of that crap then. Listen, you told me something that I’ll never forget... and I didn't truly realize it until last night... something came to me. You were right. You saw how strong I was to be able to take whatever happens to me and keep going...
Marcus >> ...
Daemien >> look, I want to be a paladin. More than anything now. No matter what has happened to me, it's never been able to destroy me. And that's what allows me to be better than all that's attacked me.
Marcus >> you aren't qualified. You committed crimes against your nation.
Daemien >> nobody's perfect, are they?
Marcus >> your anger and bitterness prevents you from doing the job effectively.
Daemien >> you know what? I’m going to quote you again: "best not to let what people think of you deter you from what you're good at". I’ve never cared what anyone thought in my effort to try to make something of myself before, why should I care what your opinion is?
Marcus >> ...
Daemien >> you think I won't make it. You think I’ll fail. We’ll let my ability decide that. Ok?
Marcus >> it won't work Daemien ... criminals won't make the cut.
Daemien >> then let me hear that from Balasiel himself.
Marcus >> no. I won't waste his time with the likes of you.
Daemien >> ok, let me put it this way: I’m going to be a paladin. And I’m not letting you stand in my way. My guess is Balasiel is in that door you're guarding. *drawing my broken shovel* get out of my way.
Marcus >> you would attack me? Just as the criminal you are would do.
Daemien >> again, I don't care about your opinion. My dream lies in there, and you're standing in the way of it. I gave you diplomacy. I gave you fair warning. I was more than fair to you. You continue to stop me. You are not Balasiel, and you are not the final word. Call me a criminal if you wish, but I’m only a criminal in the eyes of those who wish to view me as a criminal. And that goes for the charges I already have on me.
Marcus >> *drawing sword* you don't have any armor on, and you don't have a decent weapon... and yet you'll attack me?
Daemien >> we'll see.
He rushed at me. For being a "paladin of perfect vision" he showed no problem in making the first hit. And it hurt. A shield bash to the head... ouch! Next, he hit me in the back with his sword handle. I felt a little pain, but I was fine. A little dazed though. My broken shovel was really only the handle. The actual shovel was still at the stable. I charged at him, knocking him off balance. I grabbed him by the face, then struck him with the stick. Next I grabbed his shield, and pulled it off his arm. Now "I" was the one with the shield.

Daemien >> Come on!

He rushed in with his blade to stab me, but I brushed it away with the shield and slammed the stick against the side of his face.

Marcus >> I’ve had enough of this!

He drew his sword back... and then, flames blew out from it... suddenly he was striking downwards at me with it. Flames FLEW RAGING from it. I put the shield up... the shield needless to say, broke. But he was now off-balance and off rhythm. I took my final stab. It didn't do anything, he was wearing heavy armor. But it pushed him against the wall. It was enough for him to hit his head on the wall, and drop his sword.

I picked his sword up.

Marcus >> that's it criminal. Kill me. Go ahead and stab me.
Daemien >> I’m not a criminal, no matter how much you want to believe it.
Citizen >> alright, that's enough.
Daemien >> who are you?
Citizen >> I’m the one who's gonna go get a guard if you don't put that sword down.
Marcus >> no, please, kill me. It’s what you want to do isn't it? Kill me and go on your way to talk to Balasiel?
Daemien >> I never said I wanted to kill you. I said you were in my way.
I threw the sword away from us. It landed close to the citizen. I walked indoors.

Only to find no one was inside. So that's who Balasiel was... an empty room?


I walked back outside.

Daemien >> well, I feel like a twit now.
Marcus >> you should. Using force to get what you want is not the way of a paladin.
Daemien >> I didn't use force. It only came down to using force because you continued to go against being a paladin yourself!
Marcus >> how dare you!
Citizen >> he's right Marcus. You didn't do what a paladin should. You attacked first.
Marcus >> he drew his weapon and threatened me!
Citizen >> but he did not strike you first. You attacked. And he gave you fair warning to move. I could truly see he did not wish to start any fight with you.
Marcus >> he wanted something, I didn't give it to him, he tried to take it by force.
Citizen >> and what did he ask for? To speak with me? How does this take anything from you?
Daemien >> YOU'RE Balasiel?!
Balasiel >> indeed.
Daemien >> I’ve been looking ALL OVER for you!
Balasiel >> yes, I know. But I had to test you.
Marcus >> *smiles* he's all yours, sir.
Daemien >> wha?
Marcus >> that undying spirit is what will keep you alive. Never lose it.
Daemien >> wait a minute! You are such a freakin facade! One minute you're giving me a motivational lecture, the next you're trying to break me down, and NOW you tell me it was all a test?!
Marcus >> I knew you were paladin material. But Balasiel didn't. I had to prove it to him. I knew you'd come back and try again. I’m sorry for my deception... but that's as far as the deception goes. You’re A+ paladin potential! I have nothing further to hide from you.
Balasiel >> yes... yes... yes... but now it is my turn to test you.
Daemien >> another test? Oh no... Listen to me, I’ve been tested my whole life. I’ve been tested in school, at home, at court, and now here. What further challenge must I fulfill to make you convinced of my qualification?!
Balasiel >> following orders. That test. Friend, listen to me. It is not cogs nor levers nor even the mightiest of magicks that protect this kingdom of San d'Oria. No! We Elvaan live by the power of the sword alone. Our blades defend our borders. If you would strengthen your sword arm and learn something of the art, then accept my challenge. What say you? Accept his challenge?
Daemien >> sigh... do I have a choice?
Balasiel >> yes, you do.
Daemien >> ... yes, I’ll do it.
Balasiel >> Ah, I see you have a stout heart. Now listen well! Go to King Ranperre's Tomb and bring back a Revival Tree Root. How, you ask? Use your head. Now begone!
Daemien >> ... a root? ... whatever.. I won't ask what you're going to use this root for... it's probably better I don't know.
Balasiel >> that's right. It’s better.
Daemien >> ooooooooooook. I’ll be back soon.
I started to leave, until Marcus stopped me.

Marcus >> here's a tip: that root also can be found from the dogs that appear at night. It would save you a trip to King Ranperre's Tomb.
Daemien >> ...
Marcus >> I know, you probably don't trust me, but you'll see from the results that I speak the truth.
Daemien >> whatever...